The Robservatory

Robservations on everything…


Force Awakens Day, based on the greatest movie speech ever given*

* No, not really. Not even close. But the President’s speech in Independence Day is perhaps corniest, most over-the-top movie speech ever given. And as such, it’s a good basis for this bit of Star Wars: The Force Awakens corny, over-the-top speechmaking…

Good morning. In less than four hours, people from this household will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest opening weekend for a movie in the history of cinema. You, Star Wars Fans, will be doing it.

Star Wars Fans—those words should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our dislike of Episodes One through Three. We will be united in our love of the one Original Trilogy.

Perhaps it’s fate that today is a Saturday, and you will once again be having an amazing weekend, not being subject to the tyranny of one man’s horribly wrong vision of the prequels. You will have freedom from the annihilation of the Original Trilogy through misguided editing.

We’re watching for our right to be entertained, to believe in The Force.

And should we all enjoy the movie, this Saturday will no longer be known as a simple weekend day, but as the day when the world declared in one voice:

“We will not be forced to watch the prequels! We will not endure any more Jar Jar Binks! We’re going to live on; we’re going to survive the prequel era!”

Today, we celebrate our Force Awakens day!

And with that, I’m off to see a little movie this morning.

Leave a Reply

The Robservatory © 2017 Built from the Frontier theme